Well it's Christmas Eve and things didn't really start off really well. Without mentioning names I just want to say that people need to be careful about what they say and how they say things to others. I was really hurt today and didn't know what I did to deserve it. I dislike hurtful people. I don't understand what satisfaction you get from being hurtful. That's all I want to say about that!

We started a different Christmas Eve tradition this year. What has happened in the last 5 years is that Christmas Eve dinner was at our place. I would make a huge dinner and we'd all stuff ourselves and then it was game time. We would play a few games and then we would open our Christmas gifts. Andrianna would want to make margaritas...this would have been the first Christmas she actually would have been able to have an alcoholic margarita! I suppose she could have previously but I wouldn't let her until she turned 18. We'd make this huge strawberry mess in my kitchen. This year we (John, myself, my mom, my sister, and Bobby) went out for dinner. We said we would go out every year. It was a nice evening but had to start really early because most restaurants closed before supper. I did find one restaurant that stayed open until 7:30. The food was alright but really nothing to rave about.

We talked, we laughed, we remembered Andrianna...it was very nice. This is our first year without Andi, so it was especially nice to be worry and stress free. I didn't want to have to worry about making dinner and all the fixings. I didn't even want to go out shopping this year. I finally forced myself yesterday...very last minute. I somehow managed to get everything I needed.

Tomorrow John and I are heading over to his parents place. Life just keeps on going...that's the saddest of all. I almost want to just preserve everything as it was when Andi was here. It's extremely heart breaking to carry on. The hardest thing I've ever had to do.